life

Grooves....

A very intelligent person once explained to me this concept called 'grooves' and it resonated so truly with me that I have to write about it as one of my epiphanies :)

This is the synopsis of that: Just like there are 'paths' water bodies take when it flows over and over... we do have these paths or traps in our minds that we fall in to over and over again... Just like when water takes the same path all the time to the point where there is a deep crevice and water has to flow through that and no other... we humans ensure our thought processes follow these same 'grooves' as it can be called to the point where it becomes second nature and we cannot think any other way

I mean think about it, if we make some people villains, how hard have we worked to think about them differently the minute we hear something about them (whether it is good or bad)?? If it is good, we say "Nah that can't be! There should be something wrong, that could never be him/her". And if we hear something bad, we go back to our grooves almost automatically and say "See? I always knew it!"

Now what's wrong with this? On a high level, nothing... but is this all we are worth? Who are we as people if we can't give someone even a second chance to maybe prove us wrong? Sometimes I am a victim of this and have caught myself with thoughts where the groove comes so easily that I have to fight my comfort zone to get out of these and think differently... I have even witnessed scenarios where many such grooves become people's identity and life stories... now if they have to quit these grooves there is nothing left in their lives...

Scary isn't it? I can only be thankful to have heard about this concept that jerked me from my 'groove' sooner than later to the point where I am secretly pleased to catch myself each time rather than make these grooves the epicenters of my life.

Who would we be without our grooves?

The Happiness 'Pie'

Recently I got a hold of this book called 'The How of Happiness' by Sonja Lyubomirsky. A very interesting read. Some of the points mentioned were so deep and so refreshing. Like this one key concept she mentioned will stay with me forever. She splits happiness like a pie chart and divided the pie in to 3 parts:

l) 50%: unintentional/genetic;
2) 10%: circumstances;
3) 40%: intentional
 
So in essence she says 40% of what happiness we can bring in to our lives is completely in our hands!! Can you beat this??
 It does not matter whether we are rich, poor, lucky, fat or thin. Yes, about 50% of happiness does depend on our 'genetic composition' but almost as much has to do with us! This is supported by years of research and scientific data points. This felt so powerful and optimistic about how 'I' can choose to be either happy or not.
 
So some people just have ‘good set-points’ to begin with; rather they just got lucky and were born with a happy state of mind...but others who don’t have that should work for it. 
Just like how some people with 'not so great' metabolism have to work harder to look slim than those lucky ones who are just born with it... at least there is a solution and we are not just left to 'fate' or 'destiny' or some intangibles in life!
 
Work to be happy...  Isn't this one of the most productive, fulfilling goals to pursue??